Friday, October 14, 2011

Tips on how to handle an difficult boss

#POST 0002
I am about to give you a strategy for dealing with toxic bosses that will permanently solve this problem for you. And not just with your current toxic boss but all others that you may have in the future. Where others bend and groan, you will smile and thrive.

It is a simple strategy and you will recognise its power the moment you understand it. It is NOT easy. You will be tempted to throw up your hands and say that it is "too difficult". It is not. You can master it if you are patient and persistent. You just have to keep at it. It's your life. Do you want to continue in your present state of misery or do you want to move on to the greater things that life has in store for you?

Have you seen The Karate Kid, the 1984 movie starring Ralph Macchio and Pat Morita? A bigger kid who is proficient in karate is beating up the character played by Macchio. The building handyman, played by Morita, is a karate master and offers to train Macchio's character - Daniel - so that he can compete in a tournament against the bigger kid.

Full of enthusiasm Daniel shows up for training expecting to be taught how to strike blows and deliver deadly kicks. The mild mannered Mr. Miyagi - the character played by Morita - instead has him spend his time washing cars and sanding floors. And not just doing this menial labor but doing it in a precise way using particular hand motions. Daniel walks out in disgust but returns because he has no option.

Later he understands that the particular circular motions he repeated over and over have given him the muscle memory for effective defensive blocks. He goes on to win the tournament after several plot twists.

Now suppose that the Universe is really like Mr. Miyagi and gives you exactly what you need to progress to the next stage of your journey. What about the unpleasant situations in your life? They are the equivalent of Daniel having to wash the car and sand the floor and the true purpose will be revealed in due course.

So your toxic boss and horrid circumstances are given to you so that you can learn a lesson that you need to master and gain some necessary experience that will serve you in good stead at some later point in your life. Is this true? Who knows? I can't prove that this is true. Equally, you cannot prove that this is not true. And you will find plenty of "evidence" to support whichever model you choose to adopt.

Look back on your life. Have there been instances where something happened that you thought was bad at the time it did but now see was actually a wonderful thing to happen? I had a contract abruptly canceled and this was a financial loss and I was quite upset for all of five minutes.

If you are being crushed by an unreasonable superior but can view your situation as some sort of advanced training in how to deal with difficult people, then you will not only be able to bear the situation but will actually thrive. "The Universe is like Mr. Miyagi" is a very powerful model indeed.

Now we come to the tricky part. Just because you can intellectually understand that what I am proposing is a superior model does not mean that you can adopt it. Years of contrary conditioning make it impossible for you to do so. This is where practice comes in. You CAN adopt the model that the Universe, like Mr. Miyagi, is well disposed towards you and gives you only what you need in the particular situation that you are in. And it has nothing but the best intentions for you. You have to understand this and work to profit from what it gives you.

The way to do this is to systematically look for "evidence" that this model is true and record it religiously. Ignore the "evidence" that it is not working. If you do this you will soon reach your personal tipping point. You see the number of instances noted in your own handwriting that seem to show the Universe really is looking after your welfare and wonder if this could possibly be true. That is the signal for you to try harder and, if you do, you will slide into a parallel world where you know that the Universe, like Mr. Miyagi, is looking after your best interests. And your toxic boss? He is now merely an obstacle that you must learn to circumvent and the learning is part of your training in the grand game of life.

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